So, Bleakhill is almost ready and I plan on putting out a preview build of it later today, once I have had chance to code in some more of the writing. After reading through it all again I found a number of scenes I am not too happy with, so I want to do those again and hold off on a full release until I am happy with it. I expect to be able to do this full release of Bleakhill within the next day or two.
HERE Is an example of a scene I was unhappy with, should anybody be interested in reading it. (Any strange punctuation is to do with making the scene work in Inform. This scene focuses on Femdom and is an extract from a longer part of the Bleakhill content)
Hey there, pretty solid stuff. Is there something about the scene in particular you don't like?
ReplyDeleteI'd suggest you add a description of Leah on the first page when you're first introduced.
-someguy
You do get a description of her before that, this is just the first time you learn her name. As I said this is just an extract that I want to replace =)
DeleteI just feel this scene goes on for a while with very little actually happening. I will probably keep the first part, but will change how Nora is introduced and give her something more interesting.
It's not that I really don't like this, just I feel I can do it better.
Actually, after re-reading it, it looks like you might have the description in the arena match before this scene. It seems good to me, maybe I'm too easy to please.
ReplyDelete-someguy